So i have this giant pencil right
I think we all know where this is going.
the amount of people saying that they were expecting me to shove it up my ass is alarming
does it taste bad? it is a vegetable then
What about lemons?
lemons are a vegetable lemonade is a fruit
did u know it’s physically impossible to write smut in comic sans
OH MY GOD
have u ever heard of intersex people u screeching toddler
also what doctor have you ever talked to where you had to say “im male/female” what doctor have you met that was so insufferably immature that if it really became necessary to mention sex you couldnt just say “i have a penis/vagina/whatever” did you really think sending me this was gonna revolutionize my opinion of the artificiality of western gender constructs did you think this was gonna be the first time anyone in the world ever said “hey everybody, doctors dont know what the fuck to do about anything unless you tell them whether you have a dick or not” you ludicrous whining jackass, you weak coward of a dirty-diaper-consuming bridge troll
my sadness is not
a cut for you to bandage
and it is not
a bruise for you to kiss
i am not waiting
for you to save me
i am hoping you will love me
while i rescue myself
me: hey can i have some money?
bank teller: do you have an account with us?
me: nah i just heard yall got money
i wanna get drunk and kiss a lot and not think for a while