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lifehackable:

More Ways to Abandon Society Here
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minnisrecovery:

Always remember to drink water. Not for weight loss or whatever, but to hydrate your organs, fuel your mind and boost your energy. Not to mention your mood will improve. your body will thank you

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damittromney:

my-name-is-long:

damittromney:

next up on having a vagina: are these cramps or should i tell my mom to take me to the hospital

Yeah that happened to me in 2012 and it turns out I have 2 uteruses.

whAT THE FUCK

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officialunitedstates:

I want to wear casual clothes to an incredibly fancy restaurant with you

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pussykraken:

i honestly dont know how, when early 2000s dreamworks execs were faced with producing a cheap and fast knock-off capitalising of the success of finding nemo,  a movie composed of celebrities faces mo-capped and pasted onto uncanny valley fish people, fish puns, baffling attempts at hip-hop culture, mafia movie tropes, a plot stolen from a spaghetti western, a subplot shitting on L.A and jack black converged into existence but The Lord finds a way
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SEND ME A NUMBER

  1. 1: i'd bang you against a wall
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human:

this picture is life
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stoopid-girl:

dan-mcneely:

ircimages:

My friend went to a nerd factory. They gave him a bag of rejects and said “Enjoy your bag of diabetes.”

#i want a bag of reject nerds#oh wait i’m on tumblr they’re everywhere

i hate you
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tarargh:

i only have two speed settings for blogging: “makes you wonder if theyre even still active” or “your entire dash is nothing but me”

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brightchimeradragon:

just-bx:

Just SCience

IT TOOK ME TWO TIMES TO UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS GOING ON, HOLY FUCKING SHIT MY SIDES.
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reasonsmysoniscrying:

3yo hugs me, smiles a bitter-sweet smile, slowly begins to squeeze my throat with two hands & whispers hauntingly, “Are you choking, Daddy?”

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